Career Plans

Future Career Choices:
-Astronaut
-Mountain Man
-Sailor
-Mountain Man in Space flying an inter galactic sail boat sponsored by NASA

In Reality:
-Stuck in a cubicle making 35K a year.

Where's the train to neverland,
Collin

Time to Kill

I got like an hour to kill here at skool so I thought I'd hook y'all up with some goodies.

Advice, I give good advice.

My high school's newspaper has an advice section called "ask evangaline" and this month I got to answer it!  They probably will make me "revise" this but I think it's really good.  So here it is.

Question: Dear Evangaline,
 I know this girl, who, whenever I pass by her, she looks at me like I'm a creeper.  In reality, I've never been a creeper. What should I do?

-Confused.


Here is my response.

Dear confused little boy or girl ( I don’t judge ),

Well just because this girl looks at you like your a creeper doesn’t mean thats what she is thinking.  Maybe that’s the face she makes when she is thinking about how “not-creeper-ish” you are.  Yep thats probably it.  Is there a friend you always walk past her with? If yes then maybe she is having this reaction to him/her.  Try ditching all of your friends in an attempt to win her over.  Violently rejecting your friends is the most efficient way of losing them.  If this doesn’t work, and you need your friends back, just text “jk!” to them and it will all be good again.

But if the problem really is that she thinks you’re a creeper then there is still hope.  Try some of the following tricks/suggestions to improve your status:

• wearing aviator glasses.  everyone who wears those has to be cool.
• smiling and waving
• actually talking to her rather than just walking past and staring
• try googling “how to be cool” or “smooth things to say when talking to women”  use these tips.
• leaving anonymous notes in her locker professing your love. 
• get her number from a friend and start texting her.

In all seriousness though, try talking to her.  Be yourself.  Ask questions about her, everyone likes talking about themselves because that is something they know a lot about.  Make sure you know her name, thats not good when you forget.  See if you have anything in common.  If she continues to reject you through hurtful looks after all this, move on, you can do better.

Good Luck,
Evangaline

Christmas Dance my BUTT!

I am so sick of High School Dances.  Actually I am just mostly sick of High School ( but thats another blog post ).  ANYWAY(s), the school (skool) xmas dance is creeping up on the student body, or at least me.  I had no idea until today and the dance is on like the 10th or something. I don't know.

Probably yes we should just make all the dances 'girls choice'.  JUST BECAUSE I AM A CHICKEN.  And I know it. 

It's really just this whole asking deal-io.  It's like this; I can ask a girl, and she will say yes as long as she hasn't been asked just yet.  Simply because girls are too nice.  I would rather not go to the dance than go on a pity date.  THOSE SUCK.  SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Because the girl doesn't even want to be there and so it makes it all awkward.

Ah, buttkiss!

So I guess I'll probably ask a lady.  But if she doesn't want to go she had better say so. 

Maybe I won't ask.

No I think I will.

Oh gosh.

I can(not) do this.

Indecisivly,
Collin