Poo-tee-weet

It is because I can't see you, on the other side of your computer screen, not un-like Catholic confessions; I feel moderately safe in telling you that I...

...

It's harder to say than I thought.
I got a twitter.



"OH! COLLIN WHY?"
...the horribly beautiful and concerned woman in my life cries out in anguish as her body crashes to the icy linoleum. I begin to cry as I reflect on my actions, especially the one's I shared to the world.  How could I have done this to the people who love me so?  Slowly we both start to recover and sit next to each other, hearts ever-so-tender, to discuss the implications of my atrocious actions.

(At the time I kind of looked like a little girl)

"Prominent female figure in my life," I begin "It's not all bad.  Hipsters are nice people too.  And I follow Barack Obama's tweets" The beautiful woman figure sighs a little and says "well Kathy, I mean Collin, I guess there is still some

Twitter isn't all bad."

So, how's it gonna be, when it all comes down to cycling trivialities?

Það að setja salt í sárin að sjá þig á að Scooter í dag, með vopn vafið um hann. Til að lokum að staðfesta alltaf ofsóknaræði hugsanir mínar. Ég held að nánast við gert augu, ég held að þú veist að ég sá. Fjörutíu fimm líkamlega mílur á snúa klukkustund að andlega stöðva, og heilinn minn hægt byrjar að vinna. Ég fór á gatnamótum í hugstoli minn og bílinn beygja vinstri næstum valdið stafli upp, en ég zipped á fortíðinni. The vökvi hreyfing af hendi minni að draga hjólið, líkami minn að taka yfir, leyfa huga mínum að koma aftur hettu, að vakna. Af hverju finnst mér þetta skyndilega dullness?


  Ég hélt ég myndi ekki, ekki, ég mun ekki fá vonir mínar upp.


Brottför nánast sjálfsvígshugleiðingum rauða samningur ég heyri Chad skrölt og putter á um nálægt missa af.

Ég held að hann sagði að hún hefði eitthvað í munninum ...

Ég var ekki að hlusta. Get ekki að setja svokallaða fingur á hugstol mína, því hvers vegna augum hélt huga mínum svo fanga, dreymdi ég á.


Bíllinn hélt áfram eins og líkami minn keyrði.


Eins og Chad talaði um.


Ég hef ekki hugmynd um hvað hann sagði við mig.


Skyndilega, í algerlega hljóður heim minn á útvarpið kemst "Æ, ekki láta mig niður í þetta sinn."

"Hvað kaldhæðni ..." Ég Mutter upphátt við sjálfan mig, þótt ég heyri varla. Unfazed Chad rambles á.

What is life but heaping pile of irony on this tired Monday?

And other times...

Some times I feel like I've
Thrown my only flint into the ocean,
Wandered into a dry desolate valley,
Stomped out my only fire,
And expected to get sufficient warmth from a cluster of flash lights.

Occasionally I impress myself

I went to the (D)dentist (do you capitalize dentist?) today and got fillings, so half of my face is completely numb. All the way from my right bottom eye-lid to my right side nostril to my chin and clear back to my ear. Needless to say it is less than comfortable.  Every time my face is numbed I still am amazed, and abnormally entertained, by how flabby my face feels.  It's just not the same to touch when I can feel things.

On the way home I was saying things like "I feel funny" "Is this real life?" "Is this gunna be forever?" and "AAAAHHHH!"
...Which is weird because I was alone. And poking my cheek.

BUT I am impressed with my coping abilities for the following reasons:
a) I have been able to eat a significant amount of cheese and crackers with hardly more than average amounts of crumbs spilling on me.
b)I have been able to properly drink from a can WITHOUT spilling a single drop!
c)I have figured out how to whistle with only half of a working mouth (which is better than some people I know who can't whistle at all!)
d) I have made significant progress on my math homework.
 **"d" is moderately unrelated to being numb**

I am starting to think if I can function this well this soon after the procedure, if worst came to worst I could probably handle this long term.  Even in a survival situation i.e. stranded on a mountain with hungry wolves or being stuck on an abandoned space craft that is being boarded by hostile martians or tralfamadorians.

What is new today, however, is that the numbing went all the way to my nose.  My nose has never been numb before and I don't like it.  I don't know how many of you have ever been forced to experience nose numb-ness but it causes every single booger in your nose scream and poke the inside of your nostril making its presence un-necessarily clear.  Every one.

Anyway my face is cold and tingly plus I can't talk with out some sort of impediment.  Especially when using "buh" sounds; the right side of my mouth smacks together and makes me feel like I have special needs.  Blast it!

*sigh* dangit that sounded retarded with my lips smacking.

With mixed feelings,
Collin